Volume 1, Issue 10

On a Personal Note

 
Dear MELISSA,
 
I don't know about you, but my first week of the year started out with a hard sprint.
 
From beginning the week by supporting a friend's 5 day event, to being interviewed for a live podcast on Tuesday, to ending the week with the Your Family Matters Weekend Summit (in which I am featured as an expert), 2022 has started with a bang.
 
I am grateful for the opportunities and am ready for life to begin to fall into place this year.
 
We'll see what happens.
 
Meanwhile, I continue to work on the various goals that are carrying over into 2022.
 
Unlike many people, I have never made resolutions. 
 
I work on goals until they are achieved or I actively discontinue the goal because I have changed my mind about it being right for me.
 
If you are unsure of the difference between goals and resolutions, be sure to read this month's article for clarification.
 
And may this year be your best year yet!
 
 
Happy New Year!
 
Melissa

 

Has Anyone Seen My New Year's Resolutions?

   

Set Goals, Not Resolutions

A goal properly set is halfway reached. ~ Zig Ziglar

 

80% of people will fail to keep their New Year resolutions past mid-February, most of them quitting before the end of January.

That's a staggering loss.

I personally never make New Year resolutions as I work on goals as they arise.

However, 45% of Americans do.

The ten most popular resolutions are:

🔵 Exercise more
🔵 Lose weight
🔵 Get organized
🔵 Learn a new skill or hobby
🔵 Live life to the fullest
🔵 Save more money / spend less money
🔵 Quit smoking
🔵 Spend more time with family and friends
🔵 Travel more
🔵 Read more


The reasons for failure are simple.

Whereas resolutions lack specifications, effective
goals are written to be specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound.

By changing the way we approach the desired change(s), we also create a different mindset around attaining those changes.

For example, look at the goal to lose weight... scratch that: goal to decrease your weight.

(When we lose something, we want to find it.  So by saying you lost weight, the subconscious mind thinks you want to find that weight again.)

Questions to answer to successfully attain your goal of reducing your weight:

  • How much weight?
  • By when?
  • What is your motivation for the weight loss?
  • What is the plan to breakdown your goal into smaller, short-term goals?
  • Are you allowing enough time to achieve your goals?
  • What is your maintenance plan to maintain the change in weight?

In short, the clearer your goal and plan for attaining that goal, the more like you are to achieve it.

Furthermore, backing your goals and plans with clear motivation will push you when the going gets tough.

And it will get tough at times.

The problem is most people go on diets to lose weight.

What happens once they achieved the weight loss?

They tend to return to the lifestyle that got them into this position in the first place, especially if the diet some sort of extreme changes in behavior.

In essence, diets are a temporary fix to a bigger issue.

To successfully lose your excess weight and maintain the reduction, weight loss must be secondary to lifestyle changes.

This means long term changes in dietary habits, exercise routine, solid sleep of 6-8 hours/night, drinking plenty of water, etc. 

Plus, weight reduction is rarely just about decreasing weight.

There are likely emotional and other factors contributing to the weight gain that if left unaddressed will undermine your short and long-term success.

And let’s not forget accountability to stick with your plan!

People who have a friend or coach who holds them accountable are significantly more likely to achieve their goals.

These issues are the same for all resolutions.

So, skip the resolutions and instead work on just one goal for starters.

You can add others at any time of the year.

It’s a lot of work to set up your goals, let alone successfully achieve them!

But by taking the time to create a plan for your clearly defined goals, you become unstoppable!

 

Cool Resource

You are never too old to set another goal, or to dream a new dream.  ~ C.S. Lewis

The “One Year From Now” Exercise

The premise of this exercise is to ask yourself where do you want to be a year from now. 

You focus on five aspects of your life: work, home, finances, relationships, and yourself.

Some specific questions to ask in these areas are:

  • Work: What job will you be working? How will you be working towards the life you want?
  • Home: Are you looking to save for a home or buy one? Are you happy with your current living conditions? Are there any home improvement projects you have in mind?  Do you want to pay off your mortgage early?
  • Finances: Are there any debts you wish to eliminate? Is there something you are saving for specifically? Have you started investing in your retirement?
  • Relationships: Are you happy with your partner? Have you been thinking of marriage? How connected do you feel to your closest relationships?
  • Yourself: How do you want to feel one year from now? What parts of your personality do you want to develop? Is there something new you wish to learn?  How is your physical health and/or mental health?

The idea of this exercise is to jot down ideas that lead to goals and a plan to achieve those goals for your new future.

If the you are ready to significantly decrease overwhelm, increase your productivity and feel vitally alive again at work and home, maybe it's time to schedule a Time for the Things That Matter Most Strategy Session by clicking on the left link. 

 

Upcoming Events

Watch in your email for the invitations to join my weekly guided meditations provided via Zoom.  If you are unable to attend the meditations live, the meditations are also recorded.


Jan  17, 2022 01:00 PM
Jan  24, 2022 01:00 PM
Jan  31, 2022 01:00 PM
Feb   7, 2022 01:00 PM
Feb 14, 2022 01:00 PM

 

Connect With Me

I would love to hear how this newsletter has been helpful to you.  Please feel free to respond with your comments or any questions you may have.  Also let me know if there is a topic you like more information on in future issues. 


Visit our website and social media for more resources and information:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MelissaFairchild.LCSW
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