Volume 1, Issue 4

Dear MELISSA,

"I can place you on the wait list for the next available apartment, which won't be for several months," informed the manager.  "Oh, and by the way, there are 7 people ahead of you."
 
Wait, what?  The next apartment is not available for months and there are 7 people ahead of me? 
 
I'm now on several wait lists.  My retirement is definitely not going as planned.
 
I've been informed the real estate craziness has now poured into the apartment industry.  Lucky me.
 
Plan A- Failed.
Plan B- Bombed.
Plan C- Crashing.
Plan D-  No idea at this moment.
 
"What's next?"  I pondered on my evening trek?  "What am I suppose to do now?"
 
That's when I heard it, that still, familiar voice say, "Gratitude."
 
"Oh, right, gratitude is not going to secure me housing," I complained.
 
Again, "Gratitude."
 
The fact is that I have much for which to be grateful. 
 
My gratitude list for today:
  • excellent health
  • brisk walks
  • good working/strong mind
  • family willing to house me
  • food
  • supportive friends
  • financial stability
  • car in good working condition
  • clients
  • sense of humor
  • Bluebell ice cream
  • hope
  • growing faith
  • rain, especially storms that light up the sky
  • invited to be showcased in a magazine (happy dance)

Compared to many, I am very rich.  And my list could go on still.

But, about now, it would be easy to give up and lose hope...  just quit trying all together, believing nothing I do matters.

This isn't true, of course, even though nothing I am doing is getting the result I want NOW. Timing is clearly an issue in this saga.

To push against defeatist thinking and prevent giving into my fears, acknowledging what is working in my life is the best medicine. 

Some keep a gratitude journal.  I've been keeping a miracles and prayers answered journal for more than 7 years.  The journal was a gift from a coach who encouraged me to write in it faithfully in order to be reminded of God's presence in my daily life.

I don't know how faithful I've been, but it keeps me in gratitude and wonder whenever I notice these moments and remember to record them. 

In fact, my temper and fears cool, my temperament softens and I begin to relax, slowly remembering I am not alone.  Nor can I ever be alone for God is always with me.

Interesting how this topic smoothly builds on last month's issue, which included hope, faith and acceptance.  I promise, I did not plan this. 

It's just another detail unfolding in this chapter of my life, much like a great thriller building in intensity as the heroine fumbles through an ever changing labyrinth in the midst of a raging storm.  Unlike, Harry Potter, she does not have a magic wand to wave. 

Will she make it?  Or will the storm be her last straw?

With gratitude, I have faith the ending is not imminent. 
 
So while I wait for the next step to be revealed, let's take a closer look at what gratitude has to do with maintaining peace in life, especially when everything appears to be working against your every effort.
 
 
Blessings of a life well lived,
Melissa

 

Little Big Gratitude

Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously.  And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.  ~  Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Why Gratitude?

Before we can answer the question of "Why gratitude?" let us first understand what gratitude is. 

Some describe gratitude as a quality of being thankful or the act of counting your blessings, while others define gratitude as a feeling acknowledging that which is good in their lives. 

But for gratitude to be a powerful, though often subtle, force in your life requires regular heartfelt practice that over time literally changes the chemistry of the body and brain;  thereby reducing stress hormones, increasing dopamine production and rewiring the brain. 

Photo by Brett Jordan from PexelsIt's not just "counting your blessings," but deeply acknowledging and appreciating the gifts in your life.  Instead of casually saying "thank you," it's a sincerely felt "thank you." 

Both you and the receiver feel the difference.  The difference is beyond words.

It's noticing the smallest gestures and beauty and learning to take nothing for granted.  To achieve this means you have to shift your attention from yourself...  the pain, confusion, anger and suffering you are experiencing... to someone or something outside of you.

Gratitude is giving sincere compliments, but also gracefully receiving a thoughtful acknowledgement in return (a gift to the giver).  

Oh, I know, receiving compliments always feels so awkward, but it need not be. 

By learning to take a moment (just a second or two) to relish the compliment when it is offered, you allow the recognition to land with you.  In turn, you are able to respond with genuine gratitude for the gift offered. 

When gratefulness becomes part of who you are, you begin to recognize more opportunities to feel and express appreciation, compassion, praise and thankfulness in your life. 

Yes, thankfulness is easier when life is flowing smoothly. 

So what about when life is crazy, full of pain and confusion, and nothing seems to be working or making sense... which seems to be more often than not?  How difficult it becomes to identify anything for which to feel grateful.

And yet, that is exactly when gratitude is needed the most.

What?  You think I'm some crazy Pollyanna who obviously does not live in the real world that is clearly spinning out of control more and more each day.

Again, that is exactly when gratitude is needed the most.

First, understand gratitude is not about invalidating, minimizing, avoiding or denying the challenges at hand; nor is it about pretending everything is fine. 
 
Thankfulness can exist simultaneously with fear and uncertainty or any other difficult emotion you may be experiencing. 
 
When you are overwhelmed by life or the situation at hand, it's more difficult to see a way out or hold onto hope for better things down the road.
 
Because appreciation brings a little balance to provide you some space from the challenges, you are enabled to see the bigger picture, figure out what is working, accept what is out of your control, and develop a plan to deal with the issues you face. 
 
Practicing gratitude won't change your life over night.  
 
But when combined with other changes as your situation demands, thankfulness can have lasting positive effects in your life and your relationships.
 
When gratitude becomes a habit, it can change the way you experience difficulties and increase your resiliency.
 
Having gratitude helps to reduce your deepest fears.   Although you can experience many opposing emotions at once, it is difficult to feel both simultaneously.   
 
Go ahead, try it.  Think of someone, some place, a memory, anything for which you feel great affection.  Place your full attention on that something.  Notice that even for the briefest moment you did not feel the pain, anguish, anger, fear, or suffering as strongly. 
 
You may have even felt a bit of peace or happiness, if only briefly.  While for others, the exercise completely changed your mood for the time being. Photo by Vie Studio from Pexels
 
No, it did not end the suffering.  But for that brief break, your attention was redirected.
 
You see, thankfulness pulls you off the hamster wheel of misery to refocus your attention from all that is wrong in life, to that which is working, that which is pleasing, that which you are glad to have, that which you so often take for granted until it is no longer there.
 
Gratitude opens your mind to the opportunities available in the midst of change, adversity or just plain craziness.
 
And, hope is rediscovered to motivate you to keep moving forward... to not give up, to learn and grow, to extend more compassion, especially to yourself.
 
And some how, you begin to change as you recognize all the little miracles that occur just for you.  Miracles that you didn't notice before because your attention was stuck on all that wasn't working the way you thought it should.
 
But now, you appreciate what you have rather than what you don't have.
 
You are more aware of the little things you took for granted, such as water to drink, the car running without issue, money for gas, the welcoming hug from your partner, and the million other little things that make life more pleasant.
 
This is the power of gratitude to profoundly change you a tiny bit at a time as you learn to deeply acknowledge goodness and the source of that goodness being from outside yourself... a power greater than yourself. 
 
Thereby realizing that you are never as alone as you may feel at times.
 
As thankfulness is allowed to lead the way, fear can be overcome and contentment and joy felt more fully, more often...  in spite of the challenges. 
 
You learn life is not about how full or empty your glass is, but that you have a glass.  It is up to you to make the most of that glass. 
 
One day you may even find you are grateful for the problems you face for what they reveal as you learn to contemplate them, instead of reacting to them.
 
 

Inspirational Quotes on Gratitude

I found so many great quotes on gratitude I just couldn't pass on sharing.  Perhaps you will find a gem or two from the seven I have chosen below.

         Being overwhelmed with gratitude is a very beautiful way to be receptive.                              -  Sadhgur
  • Gratitude is recognizing, valuing, appreciating, celebrating, sharing, and cherishing what life brings me, in every moment.  –  Becky R.
  • Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.  It turns what we have into enough, and more.
  • -  Melody Beattie
  • Gratitude, like faith, is a muscle.  The more you use it, the stronger it grows.              -  Alan Cohen
  • It’s not happiness that brings us gratitude.  It’s gratitude that brings us happiness.    –  Anonymous
  • Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.    - Robert Brault
  • There are only two ways to live your life.  One as though everything is a miracle. The  other is as though nothing is.   –  Albert Einstein
 

A Song of Gratitude

What A Wonderful World

by Bob Thiele and George David Weiss, performed by Louis Armstrong

I see trees of green
Red roses too
I see them bloom
For me and you
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

I see skies of blue
And clouds of white
The bright blessed day
The dark sacred night
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

The colors of the rainbow
So pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces
Of people going by
I see friends shaking hands
Saying, "How do you do?"
They're really saying
"I love you"

I hear babies cry
I watch them grow
They'll learn much more
Than I'll never know
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Yes, I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Oh yeah

 

Benefits of Gratitude

With regular practice, the benefits of being thankful accumulate over time.  Below are some of the many benefits that have been identified through research and personal reports.

  • Reduces stress
  • Improves sleep quality
  • Improves heart health
  • Enhances relationships
  • Increases self control
  • Eases suffering
  • Enhances positive emotions
  • Increases social support
  • Helps us to find meaning
  • Increases resiliency
  • Reinforces hope
  • Increases longevity
  • Reduces loneliness
  • Increases happiness
  • Enhances well-being
  • Improves optimism
  • Better physical and mental health
  • Overall better life
  • Increases self esteem
  • Enhances empathy
  • Enhances recovery (physically and mentally)
  • Unshackles us from toxic emotions
  • Decreases burnout

 

Expressing Gratitude

There are numerous ways to experience and express gratitude.  Here is a list to get you started. 

  • Say "thank you" often
  • Keep a gratitude journal
  • Keep a miracles journal
  • Laugh, esp at yourself and your situation
  • Pay it forward
  • Count your blessings
  • Keep a gratitude jar
  • Notice the beauty in nature
  • Watch/read inspiring stories
  • Practice really receiving compliments
  • Pause to savor something each day
  • Meditate
  • Pray
  • Any spiritual activity
  • Write a short gratitude list
  • Write a letter of appreciation
  • Look for positive things in life
  • Volunteer
  • Engage in random acts of kindness
  • Enjoy the small things
  • Compliment others

 

 

Cool Resource

 

Upcoming Events

Watch in your email for the invitations to join my weekly guided meditations provided via Zoom.  If you are unable to attend the meditations live, the meditations are also recorded.

Jul 12, 2021 01:00 PM
Jul 19, 2021 01:00 PM
Jul 26, 2021 01:00 PM
Aug 2, 2021 01:00 PM
Aug 9, 2021 01:00 PM

 

Connect With Me

I would love to hear how this newsletter has been helpful to you.  Please feel free to respond with your comments or any questions you may have.  Also let me know if there is a topic you like more information on in future issues. 

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