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Volume 1, Issue 11
On a Personal Note
"Don't you ever contact me again!" read the text.
Kind of surprising, but not really.
I'd been communicating with a "friend" online for the previous hour or so.
The conversation kept escalating because
I didn't want to do what this person was asking of me.
The conversation included untrue accusations,
Eventually stating I owed them something simply because they call me.
That doesn't sound like friendship, does it?
Pushed beyond my tolerance, I met their tone and their language.
Of course, they didn't receive this as well as they dished it out.
So long story short, it was not completely surprising to get their text.
Truth is during the course of that exchange,
I was already questioning how long I could tolerate this friendship.
Their text confirmed my gut feeling
And ended that relationship.
This note is not to point fingers.
Honestly, I've been struggling to write this newsletter issue on self love,
A topic that has reached the status of trite cliche.
Although self love kept feeling right, I couldn't put this issue together.
And then this happened.
What, you are questioning, does this have to do with the topic?
I'm glad you asked.
Simply put, so many questions were triggered.
How often have you ignored your gut feeling or intuition?
Who do you let speak to you disrespectfully?
When do you tolerate poor behavior for some particular benefit or fear?
To name just a few...
If any of these questions resonate with you, then this issue is for you.
What we tolerate is seen as acceptable behavior and will be repeated.
We may not even realize that the relationship is dysfunctional,
Be it family, work, business, friend, neighbor, or partner.
But if the relationship feels uncomfortable, it's a good idea to ask yourself,
"Why?"
What is bothering me about this person, situation, etc.?
Self love is about how we value ourselves
And how we allow others to treat us, at work or in our personal lives.
Blessings of a life well lived,
Melissa
Self Love, Lost and Found
How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you. ~ Rupi Kaur
What's The Big Deal About Self Love?
The most powerful relationship you will ever have, is the relationship with yourself. ~ Steve Maraboli
I know, self love is mostly pushed on those not in a relationship, right?
The "gotta love yourself before you can expect someone else to love you" jargon.
This concept is thrown around especially freely in the month of love.
But what is self love, really?
Who does it apply to?
Self-love is the regard for your well-being and happiness...
A state of appreciation for yourself.
It is tending to your emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual needs.
Self love often starts by accepting yourself...
Strengths, idiosyncrasies, shortcomings and all.
It also means being able to forgive yourself for your mistakes
While knowing your inherent worth.
Self love is imperative for a healthy self esteem.
Sometimes self love is mistaken for narcissism, self absorption or selfishness.
True self love is none of that.
Instead, because you have taken steps to care for yourself and your needs,
You have a greater capacity to give of yourself.
Your ability to love expands when you are not looking to others to prove your worth.
If self love is so important to your sense of wellness,
How can you incorporate more love into your life,
Whether single or in a relationship?
The list is longer than you would think.
Below are some great ways to begin or expand on loving yourself:
- Nourish yourself
- Express yourself
- Stop beating yourself up in your self talk
- Surround yourself with supportive people
- Don't lose yourself in your relationships
- Practice gratitude
- Go off the grid for time to relax and recharge
- Have some fun
- Do things you enjoy often
- Step out of your comfort zone- learn something new
- Accept credit for your successes, wins and accomplishments
- Genuinely feel and receive compliments
- Prioritize yourself and your needs
- Set and maintain healthy boundaries
- Pay attention to your gut feelings/intuition
- Keep the promises you make to yourself
- Get your rest
- Eat healthy
- Move- whether that is walking, dancing, playing or exercising
- Refuse to seek permission or approval to be yourself
- Be aware of what you think, feel and want
- Allow yourself to feel without need to justify
- Assertively ask for what you want
- Live intentionally
- Be open for change
- Avoid labeling yourself
- Learn from your mistakes and move on
- Learn about your false beliefs
- Embrace your own brand of weirdness
- Stop comparing yourself with others
- End toxic relationships
- Celebrate your wins, not matter how minor they appear
- Be patient with yourself
- Release the past
- Learn to say "no"
- Learn to say "yes" to you
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Stand up for yourself
If this is new for you, pick one thing and just practice that for awhile.
Select another item from the list when you are ready.
Be kind to yourself as you take baby steps to learn to love yourself.
Know you are worth however much the struggle or however long it takes.
Practicing self love empowers you to withstand the challenges in life.
Whatever you do, don't settle for poor treatment by anyone.
How you treat yourself lets people know what you will and will not tolerate.
Contentment and happiness are often the unsought results.
Self love is for everyone.
What will you do for you on this journey of self discovery?
Cool Resource
You were born to be real, not to be perfect. ~ Unknown
I found this poem and hope it inspires you to be you, fully and completely you. You are wonderfully and perfectly made. This life is for discovering all the gifts and talents mixed perfectly in you. As you peal back all the programming, the miracle of you is revealed.
If the you are ready to significantly decrease overwhelm, increase your productivity and feel vitally alive again at work and home, maybe it's time to schedule a Time for the Things That Matter Most Strategy Session by clicking on the left link.
Connect With Me
I would love to hear how this newsletter has been helpful to you. Please feel free to respond with your comments or any questions you may have. Also let me know if there is a topic you like more information on in future issues.
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Website: https://melissafairchild.coachesconsole.com/
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